Sai Rapture
The Ecstatic Journey of a Modern Day Gopi
  • Sai Rapture
  • Sai Rapture ~ The Book
    • Excerpt from Sai Rapture: "The Awakening Flower"
    • Bangaru ~ Sai Students
    • Kendra's 1993 Interviews
  • Guestbook
  • Sai Rapture book
  • OM SAI RAM ~ 108 Bhakti Kisses
    • 108 Bhakti Kisses included in Central Brevard Library
    • Sai Rapture Now Available At Sathya Sai Book Center
    • Please visit my Ecstatic Art & Poetry page on facebook
    • Please visit Goodreads.com to review and rate this book
    • 108 Bhakti Kisses Testimonials & Reviews
  • ONLINE POETRY READINGS
  • NEW BOOK: Saraswati Lotus Pearls
    • Saraswati Lotus Pearls Poetry Reading
  • Dharma Press Publications
  • 108 Bhakti Kisses Book
  • 108 Bhakti Kisses ~ A Garland of Poems
  • As Close To Heaven As It Gets
    • Star of Saraswati Art Gallery >
      • Lord Vishnu and Our Lady of the Cosmos
      • The Passion of Hanuman
      • Sai Mohini
      • Artsy Movie
      • ECSTATIC ART MOVIE
      • Lord of the Universe Painting
      • Swami in our puja room
      • Art Slideshow
    • Grand World pilgrimage 2012
    • Grand World Pilgrimage videos
    • Gem of the Jemez
    • Omming Birds
  • Sai Rapture on Amazon
    • Sri Purushotammananda >
      • 108 Bhakti Kisses was added to Library of Congress collection
  • LORD OF THE UNIVERSE MOVIE AND PAINTING
  • Sai Rapture- Happy to announce
  • Sai Rapture on Barnes & Noble
  • Sai Baba Talk at Melbourne Spiritualist Chapel 10/11/15
    • Lovely Leela , Guru Poornima 2016
  • The Mystic Hour
    • Soham Meditation
    • Universal Love Meditation
    • Sai Oracle: dreams, leelas, miracles, guidance >
      • Sai Baba's Name Heard in Superbowl 2014 Coke commercial
      • Sai Oracle: dreams, leelas, miracles, guidance and instruction
      • Sai Silhouette
      • Vibhuti footprints all over my heart
      • Sai Baba Dream, March 9, 2012
      • Heavenly Sai dream, 10/26/12
      • Goddess of the Rainbow
      • Sai Baba Dream, 12/22/2012
      • Be Good, Do Good, See Good
      • Divine Sai Dream, 02/10/2013
      • Sai Baba Dream, 4/19/2013
      • Sai Baba Dream, 6/15/2013
      • Shirdi Sai Baba Dream, 9-13-2013
      • Sai Baba Dream 10-7-2013
      • Celestial dream 11-4-2013
      • Heavenly Sai Dream, 11-30-2013
      • Sun of Suns dream - 12/8/2013
      • California Sai Rush >
        • jjesus Dream 4/1/2014
        • Santa Barbara and Lake Shrine, Ca., April 2014
        • Sai At Tustin, California, April 2014
        • The Om heard at Lake Shrine, CA
      • See God in Everything, Sai dream, 1-5-14
      • How to remember your dreams
      • Incredible Sai Baba Dream, 02/03/14
      • Very Strange dream with Sai Baba, 2/13/2014
      • Swami Dream 02-26-14
      • Sai Dream, 4/21/2014
      • Ganesha Dream, 5/1/14
      • The Mysterious Cat
      • Sai Eyes Dream & Leela, 5/20/2014
      • Shiva dream and vision 6/14/2014
      • Om...Beautiful Baba dream, 7/9/2014
      • Kool dream, 7-24--14
      • Amazing Sai spiritual experience 8/28/14
      • Mystical Prayer Leela 9/2/14
      • Divine Meditation, 10/02/2014
      • Cosmic Dive Dream, 10/24/14
      • We Gather the Glory!
      • Kundalini rising
      • sai bus driver
      • baby hercules
      • Sai Greenbay packer
      • Angels in the mist
      • The Moon Goddess Diana Dream
      • "I am going to turn on your Soul!' - Dream
      • Jai Baba Sai Baba dream, 02/11/2015
      • Sea God Dream, 03/01/2015
      • Vibhuti dream 03-10-15
      • Sai Surya Meditations
      • Holy Hand of Sai Meditation, 12/26/15
      • PRESENT MOMENT BLISS
      • Where my Devotees are Gathered There I Am
      • Transcending the Scene
      • Sai Darshan Dream, 04/27/15
      • Swami Please come, 05/15/2015
      • Sai Peacenik Leela
      • Chasing Swami Dream 06/20/15
      • Patty The Vet Matters
      • The Mysterious Double Astral Body
      • Ocean of Milk Lord Sai
      • Hari Om
      • THE CELESTIAL OCEAN
      • Krishna Madhava
      • Val Anderson ~ Swami's Beautiful Leela
      • Love One Another As I Have Loved You
      • Sathya Sai Baba Avatar Declaration Day
      • The Holy Spirit
      • Divine Swami Dream, 01/24/16
      • Nectarine Swami Dream, 11/26/2016
      • Sri Durga Devi Hears our Prayers
      • The Lord's Name is sweeter than His Form
      • You become Baby One With Me
      • Sairam
      • Sathya Sai Baba Darshan dream, 8/21/2016
    • I Am Sai Meditation
    • Courting the Presence of Sathya Sai Baba Meditation
    • Courting the Presence of Sai Avatar Part 2
    • Courting the Presence of Sai Avatar Part 3
  • Ethereal Gardens
    • Sonya ki Poems
    • Sonya Ki Poetry Video ~ Lou
    • Ecstatic Love Poems By Sonya Ki
    • Ecstatic God Poems By Sonya Ki
    • Heart Kiss ~ Ecstatic Poetry recording
    • Lotus Nectar ~ Audio/Visual Poetry recording
    • PURCHASE ORIGINAL ART WORK
    • Mirabai Poems
    • Spirit of Kabir
    • Rumi Ruminations
    • A New Year's Prayer
    • The Mystical Poems of St. John of the Cross
  • Divine Mother Sai
  • Sai Temple of Healing, Spiritual Knowledge & Instruction
    • Yoga Mat
    • Chakra Bath
    • Sai Health Tips
    • A Surpise Law of Healing
    • Manna: Man does not live by bread alone
    • God Speaks in Mysterious Ways
    • Shiva Shakti
    • Healing Light Dream and Reflexology >
      • Reflexology
    • Love is the way to God
    • THE EVERLASTING LIGHT
    • Sai Baba's Miracle cure - Ron Mead
    • Raising your vibrations >
      • The Placebo Effect
      • Deathbed Visions By Beverly McLean
    • Sweet Speech
    • MANDALA >
      • God creating with universe with Om cartoon (taken from internet)
      • SSE- Power of the mantra
      • SSE Rules
      • Heavenly Sai Prayer
    • Weight loss - If Lou can do it we can do it >
      • Confessions of a Couch Potato
    • How Does One Reconnect to Swami Within - Talk by Dr. Srikanth Sola
    • Whole Life Support
    • David's Leela Birthday, 8/16/2016
  • Compassionate Communication
    • Compassionate Communication #2
    • Compassionate Communication #3
    • Compassionate Communication #4
    • Compassionate Communication #5
    • Compassionate Communication #6
    • Compassionate Communication #7: The Jack and Geraldine Show
    • ComPassionate Communication #8: Jack & Geraldine: The 4 Choices
    • How to Save your Marriage- a Compassionate Communication Special
    • The Power of Recognizing our Needs
    • What is Empathy Anyway?
    • Pay It Forward
  • ANTI-AMA AYURVEDIC WISDOM
  • Chapel of Love & Music
    • Chapel of Love and Music
    • Swami singing Kodanda Rama
    • My Too Sweet Lord
    • Sai Mata Pita
    • Ganesha Sharanam
    • Be Still My Soul
    • My Eyes are forever seeing Your form
    • Joyful Joyful we adore Thee
    • My Prayer
    • Daya Sudha
    • Let our hearts reflect your love Lord duet- Sonya ki & David
    • Sai Unchained melody (Cover)
    • AKHANDA JYOTI JALAO
    • Come Sai Lord Incarnate~Happy Birthday!
    • Madhusudana
    • HOW GREAT THOU ART
    • All Hail The Power Of Sai Baba's Name
    • MY EYES ARE FOREVER SEEING YOUR FORM VIDEO
    • I Offer myself to Thee
    • Swami You send me
    • Blackbird rising
    • I will follow Sai - audio
    • I will follow Sai
    • MY SAI AMOUR
    • My Sai Amour Audio
    • Love is My Form
    • Love is My Form ~ Part 2
    • GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD
    • Jaya Jagadeesha Hare
    • O Beautiful!
    • Prem Amritha
    • Hanuman Chant
    • JAYA JAYA JAYA AMBE
    • Without Singing to the Lord
    • Ceiling on Desires Bhajan by Renu Gidoomal
    • Prayer of a Sai Child
    • Down Blue Jay Way
    • Sai Mata Pita
    • Sai Ram Murari
    • Will you Love the Poor*
    • Sai Natha
    • Om Jai Jai Guru
    • Karunanta Ranga
    • Somewhere Beyond Samsara >
      • Sri Durga Devi
      • Narayan Narayan
      • Zuni Sunrise *
  • About me
  • Heavenly sai prayer 2
  • Sing, Sing for Swami dream 06/06/15
  • mala
  • Art for the Soul
  • Untitled
  • Colombe Kendra
  • Grace of the Lord
  • ADHIKA BASHINCHU
  • Divine Messenger
  • Why fear When I Am Here
  • I Surrender to you Baba
  • THIS LAND IS YOUR LAND, THIS LAND IS MY LAND
  • Blood Brothers
  • The Door to Heaven, Vaikunta Dwara
  • This is my Father's world
  • TALKING WIND DREAM
  • Golden Bangaroo
  • Om Sri Sathya Sai Baba
  • SAI IS THE BLISS OF DIVINITY
  • A flower from my lips to Yours, Sai
  • Ocean Goddess
  • Sai North Carolina Region 3 Retreat Reflections
  • Blessings from the Heart of Sai Dream
  • Green Pastures
  • I Am God
    • "I Am from you" Sai Dream
  • A Song for you
  • Krishna's Celestial Flute
  • Heart Lotus
  • Starship God Dream, 9/25/2017
  • Sathya Sai Baba White lotus dream, 10/04/2017
  • Sai Collage
  • Sai Darshan Dream, 11/07/17
  • Sai Divine Love Dream, 12/26/2017
  • GOLDEN AGE OF SAI
  • SWAMI AND AYURVEDA
  • Lovely Sai Leela, 4/17/2018
  • Sai, Center of Unbroken Praise
  • Golden Sai Dream
  • The Power of God
  • Swami Dream, 02-05-2018
  • Sweet Swami Dream, 03/14/2018
  • Sai Ram
  • Celestial Portal
  • Candlight in the Grotto
  • Sathya Sai Baba's Celestial Throne
  • Swami Jhoola Dream, 6/6/18
  • Omnipresent Sai
  • Art Gallery
  • Sai Golden Lights
  • Sai Deus
  • Sai Portal
  • Happy Sai New Year
  • Golden Sai Ganesha
  • Sai Nectar
  • Happy Sai Ram Navami 2019
  • Sai Luminary
  • The Sai Element
  • Sai Chariot, 02/09/20
  • Jagan Mati Shakti Durge
  • Sai! Our Beloved Avatar
  • Sai Temple Text - Good Company
  • Sai Temple Text - Human Life is Sacred
  • Sai Temple Text - The Divine Presence
  • Sai Days
  • Glories Of Our Jesus Christ
  • Sai Temple Text - Good Character Blossoms
  • Baba's Devotees Love Him So Enduring
  • Temple Text - The Eternal Path
  • One
  • Sai Temple Text - Serving Hearts
  • Sai Bilva Leaf Leela
  • Sai Temple Text-Golden Smart Choices
  • Sai Temple Text - "Who is your true friend?"
  • Sai Temple Text- The Purpose of Life
  • Sai Temple Text ~ God's Golden Presence
  • Sai Temple Text - Temple of the Mind
Picture
A POISON TREE  by William Blake (1757 - 1827)

   I was angry with my friend:
   I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
   I was angry with my foe:
   I told it not, my wrath did grow.

     When I hear most people talk about good communication, the first thing they say is
"We have to express our feelings." Yes, I agree that it's important to express our feelings
and its' healthy for us - BUT - how we express our feelings will determine whether we
Connect with the other person or have an unpleasant interaction.

     In my experience, when we're emotionally charged with so-called negative feelings,
it's nearly impossible not to convey blame and criticism. For example, "I feel angry when you don't pick up your dirty dishes" usually comes with a tone of blame.  What happens when we feel blamed or criticized? We either retreat or more often attack back.  The result - escalation and argument with no mutually satisfactory solution.

     This is why Marshall Rosenberg strongly advocates that we  "move quickly past our Feelings" to our Needs and Requests.  By sharing what we Needs in a calm and respectful way, we have a greater chance of getting them met.  Remember - in Compassionate Communication, Feelings are viewed as pointers - pointing us toward our met or unmet Needs and what we want to ask for.

What we focus on grows and if it's our anger, then we'll have a difficult time Connecting.

Example of how to make a Request:  "When I see your dishes lying on the living room floor,
I feel angry because I Need your help keeping our house clean.  Would you be willing to
pick up your dishes when you're done eating and put them in the dish washer?"

MAKING REQUESTS THE COMPASSIONATE WAY

We need to be aware that there are three kinds of Requests:

     1) Requests for Clarity: "I want to be sure I was clear. Would you be willing to tell me what you heard me say? "

     2) Requests for Connection: "How do you feel about what I just shared?"  or "Are you feeling _____ because you need _____?"

     3) Requests for Action:  "Would you be willing to help me wash and dry the dishes now?"

2.  If you don't make Requests, the listener has to guess what you want.  This usually evokes anxiety and confusion in the
receiver and the sender will most likely NOT get her Need met. For example, a mother to her daughter - "We haven't spent much
time together lately."  No clear request from the mother, so the daughter is left to guess what the mother wants.

3.  When you make Requests, they should be clear, specific and do-able. Mother to daughter:  "Would you like to go out to lunch
with me next Friday? It will be my treat."

4.  Use Positive Language: Ask for what you DO want - not what you DON'T want.
Example:  "Would you stop leaving your dirty dishes all around the house!" vs.
“Would you please bring your dishes to the sink when you’re done eating and wash them?”

5.  Ask for what you want without demanding.  Demanding - "Get in here right now young man and wash these dishes!!!"

6.  Make Genuine Requests - not pretend requests: What is a Genuine Request?  
A Genuine Request is one where the receiver can respond with either  a “Yes” or “No”
and you will accept a "No" answer without getting upset or making demands.

7.  If the receiver responds with a No, we view that as a gift in CC.  You’re probably wondering
“How can a No to my request be a gift?”  In this sense:  The No allows you to probe deeper
to find out what the real Needs of the other person are and to then explore how both persons’
Needs can be met.

Note - Getting our Needs met is a Prescription for Happiness.  
 
Exercise:  Print out the attachment above. Then - write a clear, do-able request that isn't too difficult for you. If it would be helpful, you can include the first three components of CC: Observation, Feelings and Needs. Please note - in many cases, you will have to negotiate a Win-Win solution so both you and the other person get your Needs met.
 
After asking for what you want, note the response to your Request.  What did you learn?

Now make two more Requests for the week.

"Ask and you shall receive; knock and the door will open."

Here's to creating a world where everyone's Needs get met!
 
David & Sonya ki


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