"All human behavior is motivated by a desire to meet our needs." - MBR
This week we focus on the third step of Compassionate Communication - Needs.
First, there's a big difference between a desire and a Need.
Desires are specific and differ from one culture to another.
Needs are universal and apply to all people irregardless of
race, gender, culture or country. Needs allow us to connect
with all human beings because they allow us to see ourself
in others.
Second - in Compassionate Communication our primary Intention is to connect
with others and to value our Needs along with the other person's. Thus,
a primary principle of CC is - "Your Needs and my needs are equally important."
Third, while needs are universal, the strategies to satisfy those Needs are
unlimited and can be met by more than one person.
Fourth, we are responsible for meeting our own Needs - not someone else.
Finally, at the Heart of Compassionate Communication is a Needs Consciousness.
This means that needs hold a Key Place in understanding ourselves and others - as well
as in solving both intra-personal and inter-personal conflicts.
YOUR GREATEST NEED As human beings, we all have needs! We have needs for good health, love, support, celebration, etc.
A very valuable exercise is to identify your Greatest Need at this time, analyze what you're
doing that interferes with your need, and what strategies you can adopt to meet your need. My greatest need at this time is maintaining good health, so that I feel more energized.
Two things I do that sabotage feeling good are spending too much time on the computer
and not exercising enough.
Strategies I'm adopting to improve my health are 1) setting a timer for 5 minutes when
I'm on the computer and stretching for a few minutes as soon as the bell goes off,
2) joining a Health Club, 3) dancing at least two to three times per week, & 4) increasing my protein intake with a supplement.
*****************************************************************************************************
Exercise: Write down your Greatest Need at this time? (Check the Needs list below if you get stuck.)
What sabotages or interferes with you obtaining your need? What are some strategies (solutions) you'd like to employ to meet your need?
Take a few minutes each day to make sure you're following your game plan.
Here's a list of Universal Needs that according to Marshall Rosenberg account for all human behavior.
CONNECTION
acceptance
affection
appreciation
belonging
cooperation
communication
closeness
community
companionship
compassion
consideration
consistency
empathy
inclusion
intimacy
love
mutuality
nurturing
respect/self-respect
safety
security
stability
support
to know and be known
to see and be seen
to understand and
be understood
trust
warmth
PHYSICAL WELL-BEING
air
food
movement/exercise
rest/sleep
sexual expression
safety
shelter
touch
water
HONESTY
authenticity
integrity
presence
PLAY
joy
humor
PEACE
beauty
communion
ease
equality
harmony
inspiration
order
AUTONOMY
choice
freedom
independence
space
spontaneity
MEANING
awareness
celebration of life
challenge
clarity
competence
consciousness
contribution
creativity
discovery
efficacy
effectiveness
growth
hope
learning
mourning
participation
purpose
self-expression
stimulation
to matter
understanding
Let's remember that every person's Needs matter - especially our own.
David
This week we focus on the third step of Compassionate Communication - Needs.
First, there's a big difference between a desire and a Need.
Desires are specific and differ from one culture to another.
Needs are universal and apply to all people irregardless of
race, gender, culture or country. Needs allow us to connect
with all human beings because they allow us to see ourself
in others.
Second - in Compassionate Communication our primary Intention is to connect
with others and to value our Needs along with the other person's. Thus,
a primary principle of CC is - "Your Needs and my needs are equally important."
Third, while needs are universal, the strategies to satisfy those Needs are
unlimited and can be met by more than one person.
Fourth, we are responsible for meeting our own Needs - not someone else.
Finally, at the Heart of Compassionate Communication is a Needs Consciousness.
This means that needs hold a Key Place in understanding ourselves and others - as well
as in solving both intra-personal and inter-personal conflicts.
YOUR GREATEST NEED As human beings, we all have needs! We have needs for good health, love, support, celebration, etc.
A very valuable exercise is to identify your Greatest Need at this time, analyze what you're
doing that interferes with your need, and what strategies you can adopt to meet your need. My greatest need at this time is maintaining good health, so that I feel more energized.
Two things I do that sabotage feeling good are spending too much time on the computer
and not exercising enough.
Strategies I'm adopting to improve my health are 1) setting a timer for 5 minutes when
I'm on the computer and stretching for a few minutes as soon as the bell goes off,
2) joining a Health Club, 3) dancing at least two to three times per week, & 4) increasing my protein intake with a supplement.
*****************************************************************************************************
Exercise: Write down your Greatest Need at this time? (Check the Needs list below if you get stuck.)
What sabotages or interferes with you obtaining your need? What are some strategies (solutions) you'd like to employ to meet your need?
Take a few minutes each day to make sure you're following your game plan.
Here's a list of Universal Needs that according to Marshall Rosenberg account for all human behavior.
CONNECTION
acceptance
affection
appreciation
belonging
cooperation
communication
closeness
community
companionship
compassion
consideration
consistency
empathy
inclusion
intimacy
love
mutuality
nurturing
respect/self-respect
safety
security
stability
support
to know and be known
to see and be seen
to understand and
be understood
trust
warmth
PHYSICAL WELL-BEING
air
food
movement/exercise
rest/sleep
sexual expression
safety
shelter
touch
water
HONESTY
authenticity
integrity
presence
PLAY
joy
humor
PEACE
beauty
communion
ease
equality
harmony
inspiration
order
AUTONOMY
choice
freedom
independence
space
spontaneity
MEANING
awareness
celebration of life
challenge
clarity
competence
consciousness
contribution
creativity
discovery
efficacy
effectiveness
growth
hope
learning
mourning
participation
purpose
self-expression
stimulation
to matter
understanding
Let's remember that every person's Needs matter - especially our own.
David
