Sai Rapture
The Ecstatic Journey of a Modern Day Gopi
  • Sai Rapture
  • Sai Rapture ~ The Book
    • Excerpt from Sai Rapture: "The Awakening Flower"
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    • Star of Saraswati Art Gallery >
      • Lord Vishnu and Our Lady of the Cosmos
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      • 108 Bhakti Kisses was added to Library of Congress collection
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    • Soham Meditation
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    • Sai Oracle: dreams, leelas, miracles, guidance >
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      • Sai Oracle: dreams, leelas, miracles, guidance and instruction
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      • Divine Sai Dream, 02/10/2013
      • Sai Baba Dream, 4/19/2013
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        • jjesus Dream 4/1/2014
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      • See God in Everything, Sai dream, 1-5-14
      • How to remember your dreams
      • Incredible Sai Baba Dream, 02/03/14
      • Very Strange dream with Sai Baba, 2/13/2014
      • Swami Dream 02-26-14
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      • Ganesha Dream, 5/1/14
      • The Mysterious Cat
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  • Ethereal Gardens
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    • THE EVERLASTING LIGHT
    • Sai Baba's Miracle cure - Ron Mead
    • Raising your vibrations >
      • The Placebo Effect
      • Deathbed Visions By Beverly McLean
    • Sweet Speech
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      • God creating with universe with Om cartoon (taken from internet)
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      • Confessions of a Couch Potato
    • How Does One Reconnect to Swami Within - Talk by Dr. Srikanth Sola
    • Whole Life Support
    • David's Leela Birthday, 8/16/2016
  • Compassionate Communication
    • Compassionate Communication #2
    • Compassionate Communication #3
    • Compassionate Communication #4
    • Compassionate Communication #5
    • Compassionate Communication #6
    • Compassionate Communication #7: The Jack and Geraldine Show
    • ComPassionate Communication #8: Jack & Geraldine: The 4 Choices
    • How to Save your Marriage- a Compassionate Communication Special
    • The Power of Recognizing our Needs
    • What is Empathy Anyway?
    • Pay It Forward
  • ANTI-AMA AYURVEDIC WISDOM
  • Chapel of Love & Music
    • Chapel of Love and Music
    • Swami singing Kodanda Rama
    • My Too Sweet Lord
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    • Ganesha Sharanam
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    • My Eyes are forever seeing Your form
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    • My Prayer
    • Daya Sudha
    • Let our hearts reflect your love Lord duet- Sonya ki & David
    • Sai Unchained melody (Cover)
    • AKHANDA JYOTI JALAO
    • Come Sai Lord Incarnate~Happy Birthday!
    • Madhusudana
    • HOW GREAT THOU ART
    • All Hail The Power Of Sai Baba's Name
    • MY EYES ARE FOREVER SEEING YOUR FORM VIDEO
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    • MY SAI AMOUR
    • My Sai Amour Audio
    • Love is My Form
    • Love is My Form ~ Part 2
    • GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD
    • Jaya Jagadeesha Hare
    • O Beautiful!
    • Prem Amritha
    • Hanuman Chant
    • JAYA JAYA JAYA AMBE
    • Without Singing to the Lord
    • Ceiling on Desires Bhajan by Renu Gidoomal
    • Prayer of a Sai Child
    • Down Blue Jay Way
    • Sai Mata Pita
    • Sai Ram Murari
    • Will you Love the Poor*
    • Sai Natha
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    • Somewhere Beyond Samsara >
      • Sri Durga Devi
      • Narayan Narayan
      • Zuni Sunrise *
  • About me
  • Heavenly sai prayer 2
  • Sing, Sing for Swami dream 06/06/15
  • mala
  • Art for the Soul
  • Untitled
  • Colombe Kendra
  • Grace of the Lord
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  • Why fear When I Am Here
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  • A flower from my lips to Yours, Sai
  • Ocean Goddess
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    • "I Am from you" Sai Dream
  • A Song for you
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  • Heart Lotus
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  • GOLDEN AGE OF SAI
  • SWAMI AND AYURVEDA
  • The Power of God
  • Swami Dream, 02-05-2018
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  • Sai Ram
  • Celestial Portal
  • Lovely Sai Leela, 4/17/2018
  • Candlight in the Grotto
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  • Golden Sai Ganesha
Picture
Dear Friends,

This week we focus on the second step of Compassionate Communication (CC)- Feelings.
After you make a clear observation, your next step is to express your Feelings.

Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication, explains why it's important to be able to identify your Feelings: "By developing a vocabulary of feelings that allows us to clearly and specifically name our emotions, we can connect more easily with one another. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable by expressing our feelings can help resolve conflicts."

For example, "When you drive 90 miles an hour on the freeway, I feel really scared. I want to feel safe when I'm riding in the car with you.  Would you be willing to slow down and drive no faster than the speed limit?"

A second reason why Feelings are important is because Feelings are helpful arrows that point to our Needs -  the third component of Compassionate Communication. And  a Consciousness of Needs is at the heart of Compassionate Communication.   Thus, feelings of anxiety, fear, anger and frustration indicate that your Needs are not being met. And feelings of happiness, contentment and satisfaction tell you that your Needs are being met. Your feelings are therefore rooted in your Needs and helpful in revealing what Needs are being met or not met.  If, for example, your Need for friendship is not met, you're likely to feel lonely and sad.

Please note that feelings are neither good nor bad.  They're simply energy in motion running through us.  We have pleasurable feelings like happiness, satisfaction and joy that tell us our Needs are being met; and we have painful feelings like sadness, upset and frustration that tell us our Needs aren't being met.

STEP 2: State the Feeling that the observation is triggering in you.*
Naming the emotion, without moral judgment, enables you to connect in a spirit of mutual respect and cooperation.

Perform this step with the aim of accurately identifying the feeling that you are experiencing in that moment.  For example, "The show starts in half an hour and you’re still in the shower. I'm feeling anxious that we will miss the beginning of it." vs, "You're so inconsiderate & irresponsible.  You're never ready on time and we always miss the beginning of our show!"
 

Or, "I see your dog running around without a leash and barking (observation). I'm scared."


Note that feelings are never caused by other people, so phrases like  "You made me feel ____", "I feel ____ because you did ____," and especially, "You're making me angry" are not used in Compassionate Communication.  

These statements put responsibility for your feelings on the other person, and they skip identifying the need that is the true cause of your feeling. An alternative is to use this CC template: "When I see, hear  ____, I feel ____ because I need ____."

If you believe that it would be best to omit expressing your feelings because it might evoke defensiveness in the receiver, than you can focus on your Needs and your Request - the third and fourth components of Compassionate Communication. You don't want to get stuck talking about your Feelings and miss getting your Needs met.

Exercise:  Fully express to at least one person each day for the next 7 days how you feel.  Use the sentence stem. "Right now I'm feeling . . . . "  
Note:  Be sure you're expressing a feeling (aka as an emotion) and not a thought or opinion.

* Adapted from an article on www.wikihow.com: "How to Practice Nonviolent Communication." Edited by Ben Kovitz